


The Beach Episode

by Faiktra



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars
Genre: Agender Tup, Brief Mention of Oc's, Clones Said Bastard Sibling Rights!!, Drowning, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Genderfluid Hardcase, Non-Graphic Violence, Nonbinary Fives, Suicidal Thoughts, unreality
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:35:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22994821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faiktra/pseuds/Faiktra
Summary: It's the end of the war and at the start of what will be their last shore leave, Rex and Jesse reflect on how they got here and remember shore leaves of times past
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody & CT-7567 | Rex, CT - 7567 | Rex & Hardcase, CT-21-0408 | Echo & CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555, CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555 & CT-7567 | Rex, CT-5597 | Jesse & CT-6116 | Kix, CT-5597 | Jesse & CT-7567 | Rex, CT-6116 | Kix & CT-7567 | Rex, Dogma & CT-5385 | Tup, Hardcase & CT-5597 | Jesse, Hardcase & CT-6116 | Kix
Comments: 5
Kudos: 38





	1. Rowdy Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Hardcase uses he/she pronouns !!  
> Kip and Sharp are @corvidscrows ocs  
> Trio's squad is @its-captain-sir 's and  
> Redeye, Mixer and Polaris are @forcesensitivebantha 's

19 BBY - 06:00

The sun is absolutely blinding as he steps off the lartie, forcing Rex to squint as he surveys the barren landscape. There are very minimal clouds in the lilac sky, which would be pleasant if it didn’t make Rex so keenly aware of his shadow, trailing behind him in the black sand. They move together, across the shifting terrain until they reach where the water is lapping against the rough shore. He gets lost in the push and pull, push and pull of those waves. Push and pull. Advance and retreat. Win and lose. Life and death.

The sun beats down on them; Rex, his shadow and the waves. It hurts. 

He wishes he had his helmet.

His ‘sunbonnet’ as he had jokingly called it, some ages ago...so long ago, now.

“Captain!”

Rex jolts away from the oceans hypnotic sway as Appo smoothly drops out of the LAAT/i onto the beach and begins making his way over to where Rex is standing. The other man’s still a little shiny for Rex’s tastes, still too stiff, too formal, too performative, but he had stepped up when there had been sudden _vacancies_ in Torrent so Rex wasn’t too remiss about his presence. “Appo,” he greats with tilt of his head, “I’ve told you before, I’m just ‘Rex’ when we’re off duty.”

“Of course, sir.” Appo agrees immediately, although Rex can tell from the glint in his eyes that it won’t be taken to heart.

He sighs, trying to shake the tension out of his shoulders. “Is everything prepared? Everyone briefed?” Appo nods brusquely and barely waits for Rex’s sedate consent before diving into his report. Had _he_ ever been this fervent? Probably. He used to love structure, loved moving from point A to point B in the clearest, most sensible route. Kriff, he was probably an annoying little bastard as a cadet. Poor Cody. Not that the commander deserved much sympathy. He had been just as much as a brat as Rex had been, although in an entirely different manner, more than willing to goad their older siblings into fights just to see if he could. Was probably proud of that too, actually, since he still pestered Wolffe just as much as he had when they were knee-high. Unashamed of his annoying prowess and his prowess in annoying, whereas Rex could only think about his own childhood faults with a grimace. And, he just knew his ori’vod had story upon story about what a stuck-up tightass Rex had been stored away, ready to be pulled out should Rex ever ask or need to be blackmailed.

He hoped he remembered to ask whenever he saw Cody next.

He wondered, distantly, where the 212 had gotten stationed; they usually had their official shore leaves together with the 501st. 

A spotted orange shell piques his interest from its half-hidden place in the sand and he squats down to scoop it up as Appo drones on. It’s light and fits neatly in his palm, polished outside and cool against his calloused skin. The colour of the shell is an orange he hasn’t seen before which is impressive considering some of the eclectic colour creations his artistic siblings came up with. He carefully brushes the bits of remaining sand off and traces his thumb between the brown spots scattered over its surface.

“Captain?” 

Rex lets out a shuddering breath as he pushes himself back to his feet, tucking the shell into the pocket of his civvie hoodie. “Yes, Appo?”

The other clone narrows his eyes, subtly flicking his gaze over Rex, taking in the slump of his posture. Rex wonders what he sees. Whatever it is, Appo smooths his own features and pulls his shoulders back tight. “I was just asking if you thought it was time to give the go ahead, sir.”

He dusts his hands off on his pants and breathes out slowly through his nose. “Yeah, sure.”

Appo is still standing next to him, stiff as a new plate of armour, sturdily not looking at him, but rather over his exposed ear at the horizon. Kriff, but he wanted his helmet. Rex arches his eyebrow at the other man, aiming for the level of haughtiness that Wolffe always managed to easily exude at anyone who he thought was unworthy of his time or his family. Judging by Appo’s uncowed gaze, he falls quite flat.

“Wouldn’t you like to give the order, Captain?” 

Rex scratches at his jaw, pressing briefly against the scar on his chin, just to feel it. Considers the benefits and drawbacks of expending his rapidly draining energy. Listens to the crashing waves and cawing of birds. As much as it would be nice to see the happiness on his troops faces, he just wants this whole thing over with. “Why don’t you do it?” The corners of Appo’s mouth twitch up in barely contained excitement.

They’re all so bare without their helmets.

“Really, sir?”

“Yeah, go ahead. Let everyone know it’s time.”

Appo rocks forward on his feet before pivoting smartly to go give Torrent the good news.

Shore leave. Their first real one (and not just a milk run disguised as a shore leave) in almost a year. Their first one since…well since a lot of things. Their first one and probably their last.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

22 BBY - 13:00

“Cap, Cap, come-on…it’s right _there_ just let us go for…for like ten minutes.”

Rex levels a glare at the two hands, spread wide with fingers wiggling, just inches from his face and then redirects it to their owner. Hardcase grins at him in what is probably supposed to be a disarmingly charming manner but Rex has already seen that grin enough to know it means trouble. And apparently Hardcase has already seen his glare enough to know it lacks resolve cause the Trouble Grin gets wider. Kark.

“Five minutes?” Hardcase wheedles, offsetting his gait just enough to get in front of the captain and trip Rex up. “We’ll be on our best behaviour, ARC’s honour.”

Rex, changes direction, knowing its pointless, but having to keep up the pretense for at least a little while longer. “You’re not an ARC, Hardcase.” They pass through a door and Rex realizes too late that Hardcase has herded him into the mess. “And you have never been on your ‘best behaviour’ a day of your life.” Hardcase makes a squawk of faux injury that Rex barely hears over the raucous of breakfast and goes back to talking faster than Rex can process.

Two shinies, Hardcase’s batchers he thinks, notice them and start weaving their way over. The one on the left is the 501st’s newest medic, Kix, who seems more than a little nervous holding the fate of so many of their siblings in his hands, but Rex has seen the way he works. His extreme precision and care coupled with a take no bantha-shit attitude will make him CMO before long. On the right is Jesse, Republic cog tattoo still fresh on his skin. Quiet and efficient right up until someone (except himself) insults one of his batchmates, Jesse has a hidden anger that Rex worries about as his CO but respects as his fellow clone. Any of them, Hardcase unfortunately included, are impressive on their own; together they mean Rex is about to get a headache.

“—hurts, Cap, I always try my best to be good.” Hardcase dramatically lays a hand over her heart and droops her posture, the pitiful effect only ruined by the Trouble Grin that she can’t quite chase off her face. 

Jesse and Kix come to parade rest beside them and tip their heads in greeting. Jesse hip-checks Hardcase before adding, “Hardcase’s right, Captain, he can be significantly worse. You should have seen her as a cadet.” Hardcase bursts out of his swoon and goes for a return kidney-jab only to get swatted away by Jesse’s quick hands. 

“I was an adorable cadet and you know it.”

Kix snorts and bodily inserts himself between them like he’s done it a few thousand times before. “You’re thinking of me. _You_ were lucky you weren’t decommissioned.” 

Hardcase gasps loudly and pushes her finger against Kix’s cheek. “Rude, Kixie Sticks! Cap still has a good opinion of me, there’s no need to tarnish my reputation so soon!”

Rex shifts to step around their jostling, but the trio moves as a unit to seamlessly block him even as they banter. “No need to worry about that, trooper.” Rex replies, feeling his resolve recede by the second. Kriff them for being so much like Rex’s own batchmates, none of whom he’s seen in person since the war started. Sighing, he tries one last time to go around them and is easily blocked again. Finally resigning himself, Rex lets his shoulders drop and breathes slowly out of his nose. “Alright.”

Three pairs of bright eyes lock onto him and the bickering comes to an immediate halt. It’s Hardcase, of course, who pushes. “’Alright’ what, Cap?”

Rex unclenches his jaw and looks anywhere but at their smug faces. “’Alright’ everyone can go to the lake.” Hardcase opens his blasted mouth to say _something_ that’ll make Rex assign him to latrine duty for a month and laugh himself into tears when he relates it to the command chat later. “For ten minutes. I’ll be counting.”

That’s apparently good enough because Hardcase whoops and takes off, presumably to gather supplies for a prank Rex really doesn’t want to know about. Jesse claps Rex’s shoulder enthusiastically and goes to rally others to spread the news of their good fortune. Rex watches as the information spreads from table to table and excitement spread from face to face and can’t help the warmth that spreads in his chest. The racket of the mess switches from the usual morning conversations to animated planning and debating over how to spend their unexpected shore leave. Food and caf are wolfed at record speed and soon the mess is emptying as everyone hurriedly filters out to the cool waterfront.

Rex leans against the door frame and watches, a smile slowly creeping across his face. Stars, he wishes he could show anyone who belittled them a holovid of his vode like this. Then again, maybe these moments should only be for them; they deserved at least one thing that was. Regardless, he’ll bear witness, even if no one else ever does.

Jesse suplexes Hardcase straight into the water the moment they're close enough and laughs victoriously right up until he’s yanked in himself by a sneaking hand. He resurfaces, sputtering, and immediately tries to jump on Hardcase’s shoulders. They grapple, shouting taunts at each other until they trip into deeper water and Rex loses sight of them as they’re simultaneously dunked. He rolls his eyes; it’s what they both deserve after collaborating to ambush him.

Sharp and Kip meander around the shore, picking out interesting rocks to show the other before collapsing onto the beach to bask in the warm sunlight, their shoulders pressed together.

Trio’s squad bounds past them into the water with Trio herself trailing after equipped with grudging warnings about sunburns and a nearly empty tube of cherished sunscreen, amusement softening her face as she watches her squad play like the kids they never got to be. Sunny hoots in delight when Splat splashes them and then, before anyone can blink, they both turn their efforts to dragging the rest of their squad into a wild splash fight. Jak, scowl growing more pronounced by the second, does his best to escape unscathed but quickly finds himself surrounded by Mayfly and Kickback. They assault him with squirts of water to his face until he finally retaliates with a vicious wave attack that soaks the entire squad. Any alliances or strategies rapidly dissolve as the squad dash after each other through the waves with screams of joy, triumph, bargaining and betrayal.

Back on the beach, Redeye and Mixer are in the midst of giddily burying Polaris in warm sand. Polaris seems quite content to have his siblings dump handful after handful of sand on him and has in fact, started building a simple castle out of the sand piled on his stomach. Redeye triumphantly adorns the construction with a tiny leaf ‘flag’ and subsequently crumbles half of the structure. 

Rex’s smile stretches the rest of the way across his face as he looks around at his siblings' joy, the ability to restrain it disappearing along with his ability to call everyone back as the ten-minute mark arrives and then departs. 

“You know… you could use some relaxation too, Captain.”

Kix’s voice startles Rex out of his amused observations. Kark, he was so caught up in watching the others he completely missed someone watching him. The medic is standing just behind his shoulder, looking at him with sharp eyes and a tentative half-smile.

“Do I now?” Rex asks and finally shoves off the door to wander across the beach towards the lapping waves. Kix hovers by his side and that might be the first mistake Rex has seen the medic make. He barely manages to hide his smirk and fixes his gaze intently on the horizon. “Well…if it’s what the doctor recommends…” he sighs, feigning reluctance, and grabs Kix to throw him over his shoulder. Hardcase and Jesse yell encouragement as Rex pivots and launches the both of them, Kix begging desperately to be spared, into the lake.

Under the cool water the chaos above grows quiet and Rex allows himself a moment to luxuriate in in before pushing off the bottom, letting Kix squirm out of his grasp to kick back towards the surface. They burst into the air and, shaking water from their eyes, swim out to where Hardcase and Jesse are treading water, black under suit sticking to their skin.

“Well, look at that!” Hardcase crows when Rex and Kix are within range, “Guess there isn’t a stick up your ass after all, Cap.” She ignores the hissed warning from his siblings and bares his teeth to Rex, who makes no effort to stop the laugh that snaps out of his mouth. Stars, he’s only known these three for a month at the most but already he knows he’s more attached then he should be. His laugh earns him two startled grins and one smug smirk and he suddenly remembers why he came out here in the first place.

“You think so huh?” He goads and waits for the appropriate looks of fear to cover their faces. “Let me prove it.”


	2. A Sinking Middle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fives is nonbinary and uses they/them and Tup is agender and uses they/them (Icons!)  
> All of the oc's mentioned in this chapter are mine  
> If it's not clear, Tootles, the squads previous leader, was killed by Krell on Umbara and the squad blames Rex for not stepping in sooner.

19 BBY – 10:00

General Skywalker sends them off without much delay or fanfare -- leaving them to go ‘meditate’-- and even though Rex _knows_ that its not like That Time and that Skywalker is no more than a hundred yards away talking to his not-so-secret wife about her not-so-secret pregnancy, his chest still tightens a little as the man’s form recedes.

‘There’s nothing to worry about.’ Rex assures himself as he turns back to the beach where his siblings are already setting up and starts picking his way over to where Jesse is standing. ‘This isn’t then. There’s no one here but you.’ His gaze slips back to the waves, _pushandpullpushandpull_ , and he tries to match his suddenly ragged breathing with their motion. In and out. Breathe, Rex. In and out. Just breathe. ‘It’s okay. It’s just you.’

Jesse doesn’t look up from where he’s staring blankly at the sand when Rex arrives beside him.

It’s just you.

Jesse continues to not acknowledge him, but that’s fine, and he squats down to poke at the sand with a damp piece of wood. Recently, he’s developed this inability to sit still (maybe Hardcase passed it on or maybe Tup or maybe Fi--) so he’s had to find more and more inventive ways to keep his hands occupied and to keep everyone’s pitying or suspicious gazes off of him. Drawing seems to be a good outlet for now. Cody would probably love it, if he knew; if Rex ever told him. His biggest brother felt so far these days.

Eventually the quiet is unbearable so Rex reaches into his pocket and digs out the shell to hold up to Jesse. “Found this when I was doing recon this morning.”

Push and pull. Breathe, Rex. In and out. Just keep breathing. 

“Do you think Hardcase would have liked it?” Rex pushes and feels his chest finally loosen a little when Jesse turns to look at him. He holds the shell further up so its orange colour catches the light of the suns better. Jesse’s drained eyes flick to it before falling back to the sand, but that’s okay. He’s got a hint of a smile on his face now.

“No.” He says simply, “It’s too fancy and definitely too breakable for Hardcase.” Silence falls between them again. His hands keep busy with his stick and his sand canvas but his eyes wander over to where Kip is sitting, off by himself, arms hugged tightly around his shins. Rex wonders if Jesse chose to stand near him on purpose. The sound of Jesse chuckling wetly breaks both the silence and Rex’s contemplations and he brings his attention back to the grieving brother closest to him. Jesse tilts his head so he can give Rex what used to be his most dazzling smile, bright sunlight disrupting the faded lines of his tattoo, and declares “Kix would’ve loved it though.”

Rex doesn’t have a good response for that but is thankfully saved from having to answer by a smashball thumping to the ground beside them, scattering sand up on to Rex’s face. Two sets of feet skid to a halt just short of it and stand hesitantly distant from it and from him. Rex palms the ball and tosses it to Cubby who is guarded, as always, by DA and tries to stretch his face into anything resembling a smile, but finds his face stiff and aching even from that simple movement. Cubby is kind enough to flash one back but DA continues to stare impassively at him before hooking a hand on Cubby’s elbow to start tugging them away. Rex glances between where the rest of their squad is waiting to keep playing and then to Jesse’s dejected form at his side and thinks ‘Kark it’. He has to do _something_ to get that look off of Jesse’s face.

“Good game so far?” He hedges, watching the silent conversation that flits at top speed between the other two clones faces. It’s Cubby who turns back, smile still in place but significantly more strained now, to answer Rex’s question.

“Yeah! We haven’t gotten to play since – well, in a while…so it’s nice to relax with each other.”

“Could…you use two more?” Rex nods at Jesse, painfully quiet beside him and he knows he’s pushing his luck but maybe DA can find it in himself to tolerate Rex, even after ~~Tootles~~ Umbara, long enough to help another vod in need as Jesse clearly was. Again, a silent conversation flies between Cubby and DA –Rex tries not to flinch at the obvious distaste for him that’s present there -- and Cubby is just opening their mouth when DA interrupts.

“No. Captain. We’re full up on muties.” Well.

Cubby shoots him a semi-apologetic look as DA finally succeeds in dragging them away, but noticeably makes no effort to stop him or defend Rex. Not surprising, really, they adored Tootles. It had been hard not to.

Unless you were Pong Krell, apparently.

Their game starts up again, after some fevered whispering, and Thud looks like xe briefly berates DA before scrubbing a hand over xir face, sagging with such exhaustion xe could probably be knocked over by a loth-cat kit. Thud is too young for the responsibility xe now have to carry; gods xe hasn’t even hit double digits yet. Tootles was supposed to be there to take care of xem for so much longer.

Rex feels too old for the responsibility _he_ has to carry.

“Ignore them, Cap.” Jesse murmurs, body slumped in on itself again, like a city after a carpet bombing. His face blurs in the edge of Rex’s periphery vision.

Rex exhales slowly out his nose and makes himself feel the weight of his responsibilities, and then, more importantly, feel the weight of his failings of them _pushandpullinandout_ before tucking it away. He knocks his shoulder against Jesse’s. “Not to worry. I’ve been called worse.” And he had…just, usually not by his own troopers. There was a time when he commanded respect and loyalty from those he worked with. But that was before this war forced him to make choices that he isn’t sure he’s ever going to be able to live with. That was when he could sleep at night without the nightmares, without ‘Good soldiers follow orders’ circling and circling and circling around his head when he closed his eyes. That was when Jesse still jumped to his defense, even if it was just from the occasional rowdy comment from their siblings.

That was before.

This was now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

21 BBY – 23:00

“Hey! Come on now, you can’t talk to Rex like that!” Jesse scolds as he lunges to wrestle Fives into a squawking headlock and then, once he’s got them, noogie their hair until it’s a fuzzy mess.

“Ach, Echo! Echo help me!” Fives gasps reaching a hand out to their batchmate, who is trying, and failing, to hide his laughter behind his hand. “I’m suffering, vod, save me...” They turn their shiny brown eyes on Echo and their pout, normally super effective, almost make the other ARC break completely. 

Instead, Echo clears his throat and slides into the default blank stare that is usually saved for the most annoying of natborns and speaks with words so neatly clipped that not even Bric could find fault. “I don’t know, Fiv’ika…you called the Captain a, and I’m quoting here, ‘boring party-pooper’. Those are some very harsh words.” He pauses to delight in the exaggerated look of growing horror on his sibling’s face before continuing. “I think you might deserve Jesse’s cruel and unusual punishment.” Jesse’s smile stretches wider and he shoves Fives’ face under his arm, muffling their protests and entreaties.

“Ah kark, I can’t believe you’ve done this.” Comes Fives’s muted response and the giggles everyone had been holding back tumble forth, like a giddy group of cadets huddled between bunks during a secretive barracks sleepover. Fives uses Jesse’s subsequent loosened grip to wriggle free and plant themselves firmly on the ground, hands on hips. They fix everyone in the tightly clustered circle with harsh glares that are entirely ineffective due to the absolutely catastrophic state their hair is in and huffs in feigned annoyance, turning up their nose as the laughter is reigned back in. “As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted—”

“Rightly interrupted…” Jesse mumbles teasingly under his breath, setting off another round of tittering that Fives powers through.

“ _As I was saying_! Just because Skywalker said we couldn’t go to the beach, doesn’t mean that we can’t go to the beach.”

“Except,” Rex interjects in the same spot he did last time, having to raise his voice to be heard over the growing ruckus of their congregation, “That is exactly what it means -- and before you call me a boring party-pooper again and get harassed by Jesse _again_ , please tell me how exactly we can do this when our highest commanding officer has already given the negative?”

Fives opens and closes their mouth a few times as everyone else holds themselves taunt in sniggering anticipation of whatever ridiculous thing is about to pop out. Fives under pressure was always a delight. “We could… lie?”

Hardcase, Jesse, Kix and Echo all burst out into laughter again because, honestly? Them? Lie?

Rex rolls his eyes. “And which one of us do you think is capable of that?”

“Hardc—”

“Just because Hardcase can string together words into something resembling a sentence with a relatively straight face does _not_ mean she can lie, no offense ‘case.” 

“None taken. I’m still better than the rest of you.”

“Fair enough and even if he could convince Skywalker that we absolutely have not gone to the beach against his direct orders, that doesn’t mean the General wouldn’t figure it out immediately when we come back reeking of sea water.” Rex points out, carefully watching the way Fives is scrunching and unscrunching their gloves.

“I know! I know, I just—” Fives’ face falls a little and they shrug half-heartedly, scuffing the tip of their boot against the ground. “The shinies haven’t seen a beach before and they’re _so_ young and scared even though they’re acting like they aren’t and I dunno, I just wanted to give them something good before it all goes wrong…”

Oh, for kark’s sake, that shit wasn’t fair.

Echo presses comfortingly against their side and Kix leans forward to squeeze their shoulder, all of them shifting closer to each other, amusement suddenly vacant from their faces. “We don’t—” Kix hesitates before continuing, “We don’t know for sure that it’s going to go wrong from them. I mean there has been talk of the war coming to an end mayb—”

Jesse scoffs, going silent when Kix glowers at him, but the bitterness doesn’t leave his face. Instead, a gentle fire lights his eyes. “Who gives a careening kark what the natborns are saying about the war…we’ll take care of each other, no matter what happens.”

There is a low murmur of assent and Prime damn them they were going to get him demoted.

“Go get Tup and Dogma.”

Fives jerks their head up from where they had leaned it against Echo’s and looks at Rex with wide eyes. “What?” 

Rex is drawn away from the tight press of his siblings, over to the window where he absentmindedly places his hand against the dark transparisteel and wonders at the coolness he can feel encroaching through his glove. Cold night for a tropical region during the dry season. He turns back to where the others are still standing and is filled with love for them all so suddenly that his heart physically aches. “Go get Tup and Dogma…let’s show the kids something they can treasure.”

21 BBY – 23:47

“Are we allowed to be out here?” Dogma stage whispers, nerves written clearly across his soft face, and is promptly shushed by the group. He scowls, nose crinkling.

Rex adores him. He wants to send him, and Tup and every clone that had been sent out too soon, back to Kamino where all the younglings _should_ be. Or better yet, somewhere else entirely where the war can't touch them. Instead he nudges the tense shiny forward with a hand to the center of his back.

“I say you can be and I’m your captain. Isn’t that enough, trooper?” Dogma straightens and gives him a brisk nod, turning to continue down the slopping path behind his batcher and the rest of the 501st. Rex falls into step beside him and, feeling an overwhelming need to soothe the prickly clone, knocks his knuckles gently against the shockingly white vambrace. “Relax, kid.”

“Yeah, Dogma!” Tup yells back to their brother, turning to walk down the hill backwards between Fives and Echo. “This is supposed to be fun, vod’ika.” 

“I’m older than you…” Dogma insists, nose wrinkling further.

“Nuh-uh.”

“Ya-huh.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Ya-huh! Tup—” 

“Prove it!” Tup challenges smugly from the bottom of the hill. The others are already gathered there, efficiently stripping off their armour and placing it into neat piles, just in case.

Dogma sputters and Rex has to quickly turn an amused snort into a cough. “How am I supposed to prove that, di’kut?”

Behind the posturing Tup, Fives squeaks as Echo coils his shirt and snaps it at their side. There’s a brief murmur of dumbfounded challenge before the five other troopers are engaged in a deadly match of Shirt-Whip.

Tup stands there for a moment, in just their blacks and purposefully oblivious to the war raging behind them, before lighting up with apparent inspiration. “Oh, I know! You could go back to Kamino and ask which of us was decanted first! But…oh hang on…” Their big eyes widen and then crease happily when Dogma takes the bait.

“We’re being deployed tomorrow. Which you would know if you ever read any of our briefings.” Dogma sniffs and then winces in sympathy as Jesse is brutally double-teamed by Hardcase and Fives. Jesse quickly admits defeat and runs, grinning, to the relative safety of the water, letting out a delighted ‘It’s warm!’ when he collapses into the waves.

“Well…then I guess the only other logical way to prove it is to race me for it.” Tup’s smirk is as quick as Hardcase’s betrayal of Fives.

“Wha—That doesn’t make any sense!” Dogma protests, voice cracking over the last syllable and again Rex’s heart aches, clenching painfully in his chest, for his family which is apparently growing again, Prime damn them.

The battle continues on the beach, with Echo quickly avenging his batchmate’s loss against Hardcase before turning to consider the last man standing.

“Sure it does!” Tup counters as Kix raises his hands in surrender to prevent Echo’s advance. “It’s simple…” There is something deeply mischievous in Tup’s eyes as they pause for dramatic effect and Rex hopes -- pleads with the universe -- it never goes away. “Last one to the water is babiest!”

Dogma swears and trips the rest of the way down the hill as Tup takes off towards the surf, hurriedly dumping armour as he goes in a desperate bid to beat his sibling to the waves. He dances around Kix, who has rallied a questionably legal surprise attack against Echo, and somehow manages to tackle Tup mere feet from where the water is crashing against the beach. Rex smiles, not bothering to hide it, as Dogma drags Tup away from their salty victory by the back of their shirt and Tup laughs before rolling in an effort to pin Dogma beneath them. The captain sets to unclipping his own armour and Dogma stumbles away to his feet, making it a few precious steps through the sand. Not that Tup lets him get far, leaping up onto his shoulders right as Kix’s shirt cracks against Echo’s thigh and there are screams of all kinds as the remaining troopers cascade into the water beside Hardcase, Fives and Jesse.

Kix and Echo’s entrance is significantly more graceful and soon they’re both easily wadding out to where the other three are, arguing heatedly over the technicalities of the medic’s victory. Tup and Dogma, on the other hand, surface with synchronized loud gasps, hair falling into their eyes and sheepish looks on their young faces.

“Apparently,” Rex says, stepping into the water behind them, trying very hard to maintain a straight face, “You’re both baby.”

Dogma, for once, doesn’t protest and instead focuses his attention on flicking water into his sibling’s smug face, hair curling around his ears. Rex moves deeper into the water and when the timing is just right, shoves the both of them back into the waves. Submerging himself in the chilled surf Rex starts the leisurely swim out to the rest of his siblings, not surfacing till he’s tugged on a leg and made Kix scream. Rex is already shivering from the cold but couldn't keep the grin off his face even if he wanted to.

Definitely worth it. 

Even if his fingers were freezing. Even if they all got latrine duty for six months. Even if it all went to shit tomorrow. 


	3. Quiet Endings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> elmo with his arms raised in front of fire.gif  
> An Update!!!!

19 BBY – 18:00

The sun is setting.

What was once so painfully bright is now casting a muted red glow over the few clones still scattered across the beach and is doing nothing to stop the chill spreading down Rex’s arms. Its descent is inevitable, he knows that by this point, but he was rather hoping that things wouldn’t change. That maybe something he did could prevent it. That the sun would keep leading them, protecting them, like it was supposed to. 

Instead, his hopes are ignored and he watches the bright sky’s blue continues to fade.

Jesse is standing in the encroaching red light, bare feet at the edge of the water. He’s holding his shoulders shiny trooper rigid, but his hands are trembling. Rex feels his chest clench painfully. Jesse has always loved water, so the fact that he hasn’t thrown himself into its embrace is wrong in a way that seems all too common now. Yet even as wrong as Jesse not being in the water is, Rex knows letting his brother get it in it right now is even worse. A wave swirls around to Jesse’s heels and he takes a wavering step away from Rex into the surf. And then another.

Push and pull and step. Between what feels like one blink and the next, Jesse is suddenly up to his waist in the rising tide.

And he doesn’t stop moving.

So, Rex starts.

His limbs feel like they’re filled with ferrocrete as he staggers through the shifting sand to where Jesse waded in, but he’s fueled by a desperation he hasn’t felt since Umbara and continues on. Rex coughs into his hand as his feet hit the freezing water and wipes the tacky substance that splatters on his palm against his civvy shorts. Jesse is up to his ribs now so Rex steels himself and shuffles into the ocean, letting himself get pulled, pulled, pulled away from the shore. Pulled to Jesse. 

Jesse, who is all he has left of the home they made in all the banthashit. Who he can’t let of go yet, because he can’t have failed them all, can he? He had felt such hope when they had recovered Echo. Life flooded Echo’s eyes when he slumped into Rex’s arms from the freezer and Rex had thought ‘maybe’. Maybe this time they would get away with happiness. Had hoped then, just like he did with the sun now, that maybe, just this once, he could protect everyone. Keep everyone -- not safe…he knew they would never really be safe, but, together. The four of them could rebuild and it wouldn’t be the same but it would be something as long as they had each other. And then Echo had left, taking the life in his eyes with him, and Rex had just stood there and watched and smiled and hoped.

Silly thing, hope. More energizing than any stim. More agonizing than any blaster bolt.

Echo may have been beyond his protection, like the others (and so not like the others) but Jesse. Jesse was here, gasping from shock as the frigid waves crushed around his chest and maybe also from the tears and panic gathering in his eyes. They both flinch when Rex reaches out to grip his tense shoulder.

“Jesse?” Rex breathes, eyes flicking over his brother’s face and trying not to take it personally when Jesse clenches his own eyes closed to avoid looking at him. They stand there in strained silence as the tide rises around them, red water soaking their skin. Rex fights back another cough, swallowing heavily around the tickle in his throat.

Eventually, Jesse raises a trembling hand to squeeze Rex’s where it’s still holding his own and just as quickly as it came, the desperation that had kept him going drops away. They lean against each other and Rex moves Jesse’s hand to his ribs so they can match their breathing, in a perfect reversal of a position they’ve easily fallen into ever since Rex had his first panic attack in the 501st. ‘Breathe, Captain’ Jesse had said and so Rex had and it had been okay.

“Breathe, Jesse.” Rex rasps, feeling the burning strain in his chest like he had been the one struggling for air, and flexes his hand against Jesse’s grip. Jesse leans more of his weight against Rex, a burden he is more than willing to bear even if the pressure is becoming unbearable. Jesse sucks in a wobbly breath.

They continue to just stand for a bit, Rex sinking a little into the murky sand under the weight, until Jesse inhales sharply again and pats Rex’s hand.

“I-I hate this.” He mutters, red-rimmed eyes staring resolutely out at the horizon.

“I know.”

“I keep turning to tell Fives a joke or show Hardcase something pretty or see what K-…” Jesse swallows heavily, throat working. They didn’t even know what had happened to Jesse’s last batcher, which had hurt Jesse far more than he had originally let on. They didn’t have time to investigate, said high command. Not for one person. Rex thinks that they’ve done more with less for Jedi, but who is he to say. Jesse clears his throat roughly and manages to finishe weakly, “But there’s no one there.”

Rex can’t think of anything to say to that. He understands all too well what Jesse means. The other clone’s face twists, something furiously bitter staining his features.

“How did we even get here? Everyone I have ever known and cared about is gone and I—” He flicks water with his free hand, red spraying through the air, before setting his jaw tightly. Rex has been anticipating these next words for weeks now but he still feels underprepared for when they land. “I blame you sometimes.”

Another ‘I know’ is all Rex can offer. Because he does. He’s seen the way Jesse looks at him, the look in his eyes an exact match for DA’s. Kix’s disappearance, while not necessarily Rex’s fault, had stripped Jesse of the soothing force he so desperately needed when he got in one of his caustic moods. The last straw that broke the already struggling bantha’s back.

Jesse sags against him and tilts his head to settle against Rex’s. “But not anymore than I blame myself, I guess. I just…kark.” His eyelids drift low and he tilts forwards to the waves again. “I don’t know how much more of this I can take Rex.”

“I know.” Jesse’s mouth twitches like he heard the unspoken ‘me too’ in the waver of Rex’s voice but he doesn’t say anything. Eventually he scoffs and lurches upright, moving to support his own weight again.

The heaviness lingers on Rex’s chest.

“I know you know.” He says, smile crooked and tight. “I also know you recommended me for ARC training for the same reason.”

Rex is quick to shake his head. “I recommended you for ARC training because you’re a smart fighter and inventive and a sharp leader and –” Jesse arches an eyebrow at him. “—and… yes, maybe to give you something to work towards too.” Rex adds reluctantly, and is pleasantly surprised when Jesse laughs.

“You always were looking out for us, Cap.” Rex opens his mouth to argue because _no_ , he hasn’t been, at least not well enough, when Jesse suddenly turns and locks Rex in his wide gaze. “We love you, you know, and we miss you.”

What the kark did that mean? That ‘they’ missed him? Jesse wasn’t with _them_ yet; he was right here, he was with Rex, he was. He had to be. He—he…Rex stumbles back into even deeper water. It’s lapping around his collarbones now and he struggles to take a breath as Jesse’s eyes grow panicked. His brother reaches for him, but he’s so far away (when did he get that far? Weren’t they just together?) and Rex is so tired. There’s weight in his arms and chest and head and he can’t move. He can’t breathe. Why can’t he _breathe_?

“Breathe, Rex! In and out. Just keep breathing.” Jesse begs, his lip caught between his teeth and Rex thinks he might be crying again, but it’s hard to tell. There’s so much water now and spots crowding at the edge of his vision. He tries to take a breath to show Jesse he’s okay, stop looking like that Jesse he’s okay, but only manages a hiccupping wheeze. “Shit, shit, shit, shit, no, Rex, come on.” Jesse scrubs a jittery hand over his head and the Republic cog on his face shatters, fading quickly in the red glow.

‘I’m trying.’ He wants to say even though it feels like someone is jumping on his chest.

‘It hurts.’ He wants to say but a wave crashes against his face and fills his mouth with the taste of rust. He feels the need to cough again, but can’t even manage enough air for that.

“Shit.” Jesse says instead and turns to look wildly behind him. “I…Kix! Kix, help!” He starts back towards the shore, moving remarkably fast through the water, calling out for the medic all the way.

‘Please stay.’ Rex wants to say fights the stinging in his eyes when Jesse leaves anyway.

Another wave knocks against him, up to his nose now, and his legs kicked in a final desperate act to keep him afloat. But this too is too late.

The sun sets.

Shadow leeches into red before taking it all together. It’s surprisingly quiet, not even the crashing waves or his own heartbeat reaching his ears. Relaxing even. And he _is_ so tired. Maybe he can just close his eyes for a quick loth-cat nap; it’s just as dark with his eyes open or closed anyway. 

And he sinks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

?? BBY - ??:00

The sun is absolutely blinding as he steps off the lartie, causing his ears to ring as he surveys the barren landscape. There are very minimal clouds in the red sky, which would be pleasant if it didn’t make Rex so keenly aware of his shadow, trailing behind him in the black sand. It creeps up his legs as they move together across the shifting terrain, steadily sliding up further and further until he reaches where the water is lapping against the rough shore and the shadow is lapping at his hips. That was concerning. He feels like he should be concerned about that. Instead he gets lost in the push and pull, push and pull of those waves. Push and pull. Advance and retreat. Win and lose. Jedi and Sith. Life and death.

The sun beats down on them; Rex, his shadow and the waves. It hurts. Kark, but it really hurts.

He wishes he had his helmet. Where…Where was his helmet? He could have sworn he grabbed it before going to the senate buildi--

“Captain!”

Rex jolts away from the oceans hypnotic sway, disrupting the shadow’s climb, as Cody drops smoothly out of the LAAT/i onto the beach and begins making his way over to where Rex is standing. The other man is still wearing his kit, though it looks in need a serious cleaning, as it’s covered in dirt and dust and dried blood. ‘Must have been some fight,’ Rex thinks distantly, and blinks away the jolt of pain in his chest and Cody’s terrified face. “Commander,” he greets with a smooth tilt of his head, “What happened to ‘names only when we’re off duty’?”

“That doesn’t sound like something I’d say.” Cody contradicts immediately, although Rex can tell from the glint in his eyes that he is just barely restraining a smug grin.

Rex sighs, easily shaking the tension from his shoulders in the presence of his older brother. He’s just about to launch into a brief, like the good soldier he is, when Cody places a hand on Rex’s ribs. It _burns_ and Cody pushes. Cody just looks at him as he tries to gasp through the pain ~~like the good soldier he is~~ and says, “You were an annoying little bastard, you know?”

A strangled question wheezes out of his mouth, but Cody just keeps looking at him with cold blue eyes for a few moments longer and then calmly removes his hand. “Ah, never mind,” he says as Rex sucks in inhale after inhale of gritty air, “none of that is important now.”

“What?” Rex asks and has a bit of a hard time remembering what had made it so hard to talk in the first place.

Cody smiles, his brown eyes crinkling in the corners, and pulls Rex conspiratorially to his side like he used to when they were cadets. This time however, instead of proposing a prank to pull on Wolffe or Monnk, Cody flicks Rex’s nose and whispers, “Remember the first time we were on a beach?”

Rex snorts and jostles Cody, smearing the dried blood from Cody’s armour on his side. “How could I forget? We were shaking sand out of our boots for weeks.” And from the joints in their armour and the creases of their HUD. Skywalker was right, it got everywhere.

“It sure does,” Cody agrees easily and sags his weight until he sinks both him and Rex into the sand beneath them. Rex settles with a grunt and rubs at his eyes where the darkness has crept in to. Shit, when had it covered him so completely? He should have been paying attention to that…he should…he should…he should lay down. That’s what he had done last time, when Cody had been a brat and Rex had been a tight-ass and they had landed on a beach together for some survival training.

Rex slumps back and curls up as he had then, with his knees brushing his ori’vod’s side. He just needs a quick nap. Cody can keep watch for a few minutes or hours or however long Rex sleeps. It’ll be alright cause Cody’s there and it’s always alright when Cody’s there.

Except for when the world is lit in blinding white arcs and Cody is there an he looks terrified and instead of alright all Rex can feel is pai—

But that doesn’t matter because Cody doesn’t look terrified right now, he’s just looking at a pretty, spotted orange shell that Rex feels like he wanted to show someone. Instead he closes his eyes and starts to sink.

“Rex.”

His hand twitches and he pushes at Cody. “Mpphf, sleeping.”

“I know you are vod’ika, and I know how tired you are, but I have to tell you something important.” Rex opens his mouth to argue that it can wait, but the heaviness is back. “Do you remember the first time we were on a beach?”

‘Yes!’ He wants to say, but all he can do is listen to Cody’s shaky inhale.

‘We just talked about this.’ He wants to say, ‘It was sandy and I—’

“You fell asleep in the sand and made me keep watch, even though I was just as exhausted, just like I am now. And I didn’t mind then, just like I don’t now, but…” Cody’s voice peters off and Rex struggles to follow it. He tries to open his eyes.

‘Come back.’ He wants to say and this time his hope is rewarded because he can feel Cody’s hands on his cheeks and Cody’s forehead against his own.

“I need you to watch my back now, Rex, so I’ll tell you what I told you then.” His brother’s hands are blessedly warm against his skin, chasing away the cold that had settled in his bones. Cody breathes steadily and commands in his perfect CC voice; “Wake up.”

And Rex rises.

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me on tumblr so i actually finish this  
> @cisphobicparentalunit


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